I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
