we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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