I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
and you fell through a lawn chair
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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