are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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