my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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