Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
