Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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