I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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