My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
