I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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