roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I need moral support for this bender
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize