I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
