2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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