Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
