You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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