He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
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It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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