my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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