I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
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I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
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sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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