no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
