I think I died a long time ago.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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