i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
