Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
