this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
