Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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