My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
