Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
