hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
