i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
