she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
