Screwed.edu
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
