"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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