I cockslap morals
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
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is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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