Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize