btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
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Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
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His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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