Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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