I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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