How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
