You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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