Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
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My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
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Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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