Texts From Last Night

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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.

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  (423): Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately. http://tfl.nu/vgak
  Replies (18) Good night (2203) Bad night (590)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich

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  (773): Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich http://tfl.nu/iski
  Replies (32) Good night (810) Bad night (2084)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"

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  (414): She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this" http://tfl.nu/yuhf
  Replies (30) Good night (592) Bad night (7752)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes

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  (443): And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes http://tfl.nu/p6zo
  Replies (28) Good night (1267) Bad night (5088)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..

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  (816): this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live.. http://tfl.nu/uh98
  Replies (35) Good night (1695) Bad night (3216)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me

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  (309): I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me http://tfl.nu/z5uh
  Replies (5) Good night (1209) Bad night (2574)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club

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  (717): he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club http://tfl.nu/6yea
  Replies (8) Good night (5315) Bad night (1028)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.

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  (201): The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card. http://tfl.nu/lm1u
  Replies (15) Good night (2747) Bad night (803)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Youre getting too old for this

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  (615): Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame. (1-615): Youre getting too old for this http://tfl.nu/7foh
  Replies (5) Good night (1487) Bad night (664)
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  (530): View more from California

  I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.

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  (530): I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did. http://tfl.nu/hz33
  Replies (4) Good night (1772) Bad night (619)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.

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  (563): I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked. http://tfl.nu/l7dr
  Replies (7) Good night (1436) Bad night (514)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?

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  (850): So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant? http://tfl.nu/queo
  Replies (3) Good night (905) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.

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  (206): Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience. http://tfl.nu/kvcy
  Replies (5) Good night (1026) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.

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  (513): Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation. http://tfl.nu/lwvq
  Replies (3) Good night (1104) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales

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  (978): Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales http://tfl.nu/1ec5
  Replies (1) Good night (1007) Bad night (541)

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