He uses pillows to masturbate.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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