If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I love you. Go after that dick