need another drink. this is the easiest way
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER