hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just had sex bonerless
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.