allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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