We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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