At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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