alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize