Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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