That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
