know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
