Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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