Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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