He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
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Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
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My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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