Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He shit in the fireplace
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
