First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
