the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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