i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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