Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
