What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She tied me up with her honor cords...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
